Beyonce is Not an Ambiturner

To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Mmmm to the left
-Beyonce, Irreplaceable

Beyonce, in the context of the pop/dance genre (arguably your purview), it really seems like you're just going in circles. That, or you're trying to torture Derek Zoolander.

I realize that the next lyric is "Everything you own in the box to the left." But to the left of what? The front yard you're standing in? Wouldn't that just be the neighbor's yard at some point?

Marques, let me show you how it's done

I hadn't heard Marques Houston's song "Circle" until Steph wrote about it in her last post.

Many things about this song and video perplex me. The hyped-up, twitchy choreography that's better suited for a Missy Elliot song than a ballad. The pelvic-thrusting chair dance sequence at 2:42 that looks like it came straight out of Britney's 2000 Stronger video. The army of gyrating, midriff-baring pianists whose feet never seem to touch the damper pedals. And, of course, the geometric illiteracy of the chorus, which implies that making four rights creates a circle.

I can't do anything to change the video, so I would like to propose an alternative chorus to pull the whole thing together better. I believe my new lyrics both display an accurate understanding of shapes AND provide insight into the disjointed, ADHD-feel of the entire video:

Your love is geometrical

And if it comes back then that's how you know

I got to the stop light then I made 4 rights

Now I'm back where I started and you're back in my life

My heart keeps getting damaged, it's just collateral

So much wasted energy, think I need Adderall

Can somebody help me

Get out of this quadrilateral

There. Much better.

I'm No Geometry Whiz But...

Your love is so political

And if it comes back then that's how you know

I got to the stop light then I made 4 rights

Now I'm back where I started and you're back in my life

The further I go the closer I get back to you

I say I moved on till I'm reminded of you

Can somebody help me

Help me get out of this circle.

-Marques Houston

(yes, yes the guy that played Roger on Sister Sister)

This part of the song happens to be the chorus, which means it is repeated over and over and bothers me every time. If you're in a circle, you can't make 4 rights. You would simply be traveling continuously in one direction. In order to make 4 rights you need to be in a square or rectangle or some other sort of angular quadrilateral. How about correcting this glaring and physically impossible lyrical flaw with something like "Help me get out of this trapezoid"? That way the lyrics actually make sense while especially conveying the feeling of being stuck or trapped, if you will. The love Marques sings about may be political, but mathematical? Eh, not so much.