Clarification: Lil Wayne Is Not Gay For Himself

He's so sweet, make her wanna lick the (w)rapper
-Lil Wayne in this delightful remix of "Lollipop"

In what may be one of the most beautiful double entrendres in the history of pop rap (or "prap" as perennial phrase-coiner Zoe calls it), Lil Wayne constructs a witty adulation of his own sexual appeal. Of course, it is a surprise to no one that the "he" of which he speaks is, indeed, himself -- undeniably, the sweetest of all rappers. But, in this day and age of rampant homosexuality and ambiguous preferences, a true street thug must take care to caveat all compliments directed at a member of the same sex. Accordingly, if you listen closely, you'll hear Weezy throw in a quick "no homo" before complimenting himself. Good thing he made that clarification, because we all know: if a man compliments a man (even if it's himself), he's totes a homo.

Infinite Dualities

Either you with us, or you ain't with us

Either you in the huddle, or you out the huddle
Either you riding, or we passing, flying by saying, "Fuck you."
-4 My Town (Play Ball), Birdman

Either Birdman wrote this song, or he didn't write this song.
Either Birdman sees both sides of every situation, or he doesn't see the obviousness of his statements.
Either we didn't know about the phenomenon of opposites, or we did know. (And if we didn't, then we sure do now).

Gucci Mane's Troubling Observations Concerning the U.S. Justice System

Gucci Mane released his mixtape The Burrprint 3 shortly before serving a 6 month stint in prison for probation and drug violations. On his song Flexin, Gucci touches on a growing concern among the American public: the correlation between our socioeconomic disparities and the resulting legal rulings. Gucci adamantly delivers his rhymes:

Shawty I'm flexing in the courtroom

Burning dro

Give a fuck about the judge

What you think my money for?

Here Gucci acknowledges his financial privilege and expresses how his wealth allows him to live with a carefree attitude, even smoking marijuana during his trial. He tells a story that we've heard time and time again: a likely guilty defendant escapes punishment with the magic of money. This leaves us thinking about the less fortunate who stumble into trouble with the law, are unable to bribe or pay for legal services, and are sentenced to whatever ruling the judge sees fit. I commend Gucci for raising such a taboo issue and indirectly paying homage to his poorer brethren. A change gonna come. BURR!

ICP is Miraculous

These days, the refined gentleman of Insane Clown Posse (yes, they still do exist) have turned their makeup-laden faces out towards the sky and the earth and realized "there's magic everywhere in this bitch." While there are many aspects of our universe the duo take note of in their new song "Miracles," perhaps the phenomenon they find most mystifying is magnetism, noting:

Water, fire, air, dirt

Fucking magnets - how do they work?

I, for one, am with ICP on this one. While regular magnets have long since been explained by science - of which explanations can be found on Wikipedia, HowStuffWorks.com, and even HowMagnetsWork.com - fucking magnets (and we're talking the verb "fucking" here) have received little to no attention. I would like to know how copulating magnets work: Do they have mating patterns? Do they care for their young? Are there male and female magnets? Can...can they mate with humans?

One thing is for sure, however: we can't trust those damned scientists to help us figure this out - and ICP agrees with me, singing:

I don't want to talk to a scientist

Ya'll motherfuckers lying and gettin' me pissed.

Hear, hear!

Those may not be the words you were looking for

So David Guetta and Akon walk into a club. And that's when it happens: They see her. Every girl there wants to be her. She's a diva, and they want to meet her.

Suddenly, Akon is overcome with emotion than renders him almost speechless:

I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful

He waits a few beats. Perhaps he is composing a sonnet, or, like Luda, pondering the inadequacy of words to express the fullness of what his heart feels.

Then inspiration strikes:

Damn, you's a sexy bitch

A sexy bitch

Damn, you's a sexy bitch

Daaaamn, girl!

Oh.

Usher's Lesson in Rhyming

Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow

Honey got some boobies like wow, oh, wow

Girl you know I'm lovin' your, lovin' your style

Check-check-check-check-check checkin' you out

-Usher, OMG

I'm going to ignore the pow pow pow booty line because it's too easy. (And because I don't know what it means.)

No, I'm most impressed that Usher just successfully rhymed "wow," "pow," and "out" with "style." I mean, listen to it - it's seamless!

Not that anyone was confused about that line

Christina Aguilera explains her extremely abstruse lyric, "I'm kissing all the boys and the girls":

"I don't get to kiss all the girls and the boys, but my husband knows that I get into girls... I don't think I could ever really be with a woman because that's a lot of…what do you call it? Guys have testosterone, girls have [estrogen]."

Christina, remember when you first entered the music scene and everyone compared you to Britney and you could pretty much say anything you wanted and still be known as the smart one?

You don't have that luxury anymore.